I know that I haven't said it yet, so I'd better damn well say it now: I have a girlfriend. A real one. A beautiful one. Damn beautiful. Her name is Sarah and I love her past my dying breath.
I am so happy that I have her, its not even funny....actually sometimes, it really is hilarious. Also, just so you know the irony of the situation, she was (and I suppose, still is) my closest friend. Its not like the whole getting together incident came up easily or suddenly either. We had been getting closer and closer over the past two years or so. We had even fooled each other into thinking that our physical need for each other was nothing but roleplay. I find this both thuroughly amusing and exceedingly annoying at the same time. She had fooled her mind into thinking that she didn't love me (despite all of our more-than-friendly encounters and ridiculous closeness), and I had stifled the love I had for her for so long that I thought it might not have existed anymore. I was dead wrong. Pardon me as this may sound a bit scripted. However, it is invariably true. Unequivically so.
We happened to be talking on the phone at around nine or ten in the evening on August 28th. The conversation was taking an interesting turn as I believe I was talking about my boyfriend at the time. I was, I do believe saying something about how close he felt to me. Maybe it was something different. It doesn't matter so much to me. We had somehow gotten on the issue of closeness.
I had admitted some time in July that she felt closer than anyone else, and the best way I could explain what my yearnings for her was by love. She kindly told me then, in so many words, that she not feel the same-a pretty lie, that-and that I should simply stay friends with her. Also, in that conversation, she had advised me to break up with Tyler, because, although he was nice, I truly had no feelings for him. Nothing that even came close to how I felt-and still feel- about her. She said it was pointless to stay in a relationship with one you didn't love. The only reason I refused then was because though I may not have loved him, he was still a friend, and I was worried that I would hurt him. I was such a silly fool.
That night, I was getting ready to get off the phone and take a shower, and started pondering aloud about how close our roleplay characters, James and Aiden so closely resembled ourselves. I'm terrible about getting off the phone with her when I'm supposed to. Always. One of the few differences were that they were men. I sadly added how one of the only exeptions were that they were in love. I joked, trying to keep things light, about how insane it would be if we were in love. I wasn't doing well with keeping it light. I was making myself a bit depressed, actually.
She stopped then, and could almost hear the click as the gears in her mind fell into place. She asked me to say her name, to say I loved her. She fell silent then. After what seemed like a small lifetime, she said my name. I knew before she spoke the words she would say. I very nearly had a heart attack. I couldn't keep myself upright and slumped to the rug on the bathroom floor, adrenaline racing through my veins, providing a current of excitement that crackled through my body, spreading like wildfire.
The immpossble had just happened. My entire world was hanging on the "fact" that she didn't love me, that she never would. It seemed a lost cause for more than two years. And yet there she was, meekly telling me that she loved me back. I didn't think it was possible to die of happiness before then, now I do believe it could happen. It very nearly did for me. After my shower, and about an hour or so of me simply asking for confermation, and repeating "what" over and over in disbelief, we began talking about what this meant for us. Obviously I didn't a boyfriend anymore. I felt no remorse whatsoever when I gave him the news. He was expecting it. As was everyone at school the next day. I can remember a few friends even saying such things as "finally!" and chastizing me for not figuring it out sooner. Sarah had no problem with me telling everyone, in fact, she was the one who suggested it. She wanted the world to know. I was nore than happy to grant her request, running around like some psycho to everyone I knew and telling them the unbelievable had happened. I had never felt my heart swell so big in my life.
She had concluded before that she would have to move to Colorado, but the question had been when. It looked before like she wanted to start college and then transfer after two years. That seems ridiculous now, she is coming after she graduates. Then there's the issue of visits. she will hopefully just move after she grabs her degree instead of waiting for the fall. if she does, at the very LEAST, I have to see her near my birthday in June.
...I just realized, I talk about her a LOT. Anyways, I thought you might all like to know that fact about me. I apologize for being so long-winded, but when I comes to her, I can't seem to find it in me to stop. I hope you all enjoyed this and for those that read all of it, I thank you. I, of course, will not tolerate those who harass me about my choices, and they will be reported immediately.
Thank you so much guys, I'll talk at you later~!